Sometimes simple things such as your favorite member of a certain band waving to you on stage can make me so happy. Thinking back to yesterday when it happen makes me smile. I just wish people believe me that he knows me and knows my name instead of saying “maybe he was waving to the person behind you” or “he was waving to random people”. He does it every time I see him play.. But this time I know for sure it was to me. I want someone to explain how happy it makes me.. But I don’t have anyone. *Sigh..*

Feeling left out.. What else is new?! Weee.. FUCK MY LIFE. 

Why do people hate me so much. What did I do? :( 

I think I really need help.. This is so hard for me.. I’m so tired of living like this. When I start to feel a bit happy something just drags me all the way back down. I don’t want to be depressed anymore. I’m feeling the need for myself to feel pain but I know I can’t do this. I can’t cut myself. I CAN’T! 

I don’t want help but I need it. 

I feel so insecure.. 

I want a guy that I can hug all day and do cute stuff with.. like watching the sunset at the beach or just enjoying the sun at a park.